Especially if you are someone always in the public eye, such as Kim Basinger.

Hold it and clench your stomach muscles as tightly as you can. Support from family and friends, with possible short-term professional help is usually enough to help them through it. I can feel joy as well as sadness. BRIDGET Just like the mountain climber has tools to help him on his way, you have your positive thinking, breathing exercises and relaxation techniques to help you through it. Of course other people have the same rights, so assertiveness is about being fair. Many Anxiety sufferers are very busy people, juggling family commitments, work and Anxiety in one endless rush. I was under stress at work.My first bout of anxiety was triggered by a relationship break up - I suffered from depression first and then anxiety followed. Our eldest son . I did some aromatherapy and Reiki which were good. In the past Ive used the progressive muscle relaxation from No Panic, and I do self-hypnosis relaxing all my muscles and it sends me off to sleep. Causes of Anxiety Disorders Anxiety is experienced by virtually everyone at times. If your way is to carry out compulsive behaviours then you have OCD. You may even have had a job that exploited these useful qualities. As well as daily relaxation, you will need to take exercise as part of your recovery programme - but the good news is, you wont have to run a marathon! Practise taking the bus to visit friends, go shopping etc. Did it worry you when you saw the words mental health? A very few people go on to develop PTSD, where they continue to have strong reactions over a long period, usually feeling that they are re-living the trauma and unable to resume their normal lives. And yet they can be changed, with patience and determination. Anxiety stopped me going to my best friends wedding. Anxiety made me wash my hands till the skin was red raw. Anxiety kept me on the couch day after day. Anxiety made me helpless and hopeless. Anxiety ruined my life. The judge looks stern. As human beings we want to do more than just survive and raise our children in safety. heaving like the waves of the sea . Are they pleased to hear your voice when you phone them up? Its the worst thing because it would be my fault, and I couldnt live with myself. Is there really any risk of danger?

ABOUT POSITIVE EXPERIENCES I like to see humour in everyday situations and I love to laugh and smile. Because I know I can listen to music, or go for a run, I wont sit around letting the anxious thoughts take hold.

Some of the anxiety self-help organisations listed in Apdix 2 also offer advice on BDD. Answering both questions might produce two quite long lists, for instance: It is fuelled by a sudden release of adrenalin into the body. Who would want to live like this? I know that when I was in the wrong mindset, I used to be determined that the treatments wouldnt help. Challenging your core beliefs can make you feel very uncomfortable, so be kind to yourself while you are doing this work. This simply isnt true. We suggest that you dont think at all about the ultimate goal at the moment. One way that helps with understanding Anxiety is to think of your overall personality as being made up of a number of smaller personalities, rather like a large box of assorted sweets. If you feel that letting a spider be in the room is likely to bring bad luck, or harm to yourself or your family, and if you also check the room in the same way each time, then you have OCD. You would want to aid them, wouldn't you? Look at possible solutions. Feel the tension in your fists. Dealing with plateaux and setbacks For both plateaux and setbacks there are various things you can try: Take a break Did you attempt too much and tire yourself? Unrealistic expectations I should be able to do this. I need to try, thats all. It can seem impossibly hard to take exercise if your Anxiety has made you housebound, but in fact there are plenty of options. Once youre comfortable with the three sections, you can learn how to breathe smoothly through all of them. You might say, why not go straight to changing thoughts then? If you suspect that you have a sleep disorder, then you should talk to your doctor. More challenges: you may be afraid of taking on too much. The right to your opinions. The next stage is to look at intermediate goals that will take them towards the ultimate goal of returning to work.

Healing your inner child The idea that each one of us has an inner child has been the butt of jokes in recent years, and yet its a concept that is useful in understanding ourselves.

When you are lying awake, are you troubled by anxious thoughts and/or physical symptoms of Anxiety? I had a good childhood. This can cause unpleasant, and possibly dangerous, physical symptoms including convulsions. Breathe out. I have to see the teacher for ten minutes on Tuesday but I cant go because Ill have a panic attack. Once I started recording it over the next few days it got much worse and I was up to checking 8 by 8 times. Now repeat your goal - because you have done it before your physical Anxiety will be lower, and you will be able to pay attention to your thoughts. The problem with avoidance is that it means you never test out your belief that you will be anxious if you enter the situation or engage with the behaviour. Yes, because I was the youngest and I couldnt compete with the others. Typical thoughts are: She ignored me, she must hate me. Hes staring at me, I must be doing something odd. If someone you know passes you without speaking, your intuition, coloured by Anxiety, might well lead you to assume they were angry with you for some reason. Heres an example for an agoraphobic who wants to get back to work: Travel on the bus. This is why it can sometimes seem that an Anxiety sufferer gets some benefit from their illness. And yet these problems are extremely common, so there must be thousands of people with similar records who are now leading happy and fulfilled lives. Dont be concerned if this haps to you, its only a sign that anxiety was making you very tired. I also tell myself how much time I can sd on something, and that helps me to stop and walk away from it. Its easy for any of us to develop the habit of using the expression what if? This is where we need to change our habits and replace this expression with the words so what! Consider the following question. Instead of dreading the bolt from the blue, you can now look back and see how your Anxiety developed in the first place. Some of them are already fully recovered, and some of them are able to help others by working as volunteers with one of the charities in the field. But at some point you will probably ask the question why me? You may think something along the lines of look at Mrs Jones down the road, shes had plenty of stress and she doesnt panic. If you think that your panic attack is actually a heart attack, or that panic will damage your heart, you will retreat to the armchair and behave like an invalid. Or look at it another way: Why does jaunty music make us want to tap our toes?

The full version of s story is available from No Panic, see Apdix 2 for contact details.

Look at the graduated exercise ladder below and decide where you are on it. OCD is an Anxiety disorder and its not your fault that you have it. One day you will achieve them. Finally I tried anxiety management and that helped the most. Many years of my life have been wasted simply because anxiety symptoms were not explained to me. Symptoms can also include increased nervousness, irritability, fatigue or restlessness. Wouldnt it be better to live the life thats right for you? Be honest with yourself, no one else needs to know about it. No. You may have a panic attack if you venture out to the shops, you may feel worse rather than better if you cut down your rituals, you may embarrass yourself in public if you go out into the world. stopping yourself from doing the compulsive rituals (response prevention). Checklist - coping skills for cognitive work In exposure work the coping skills are all about helping you manage your Anxiety so that you get through your goals. We havent changed their words. Another approach is to set aside times for worrying: Worrying allowed on the hour, every hour, for ten minutes. Your brain sends messages back to your body so that it can start the process of healing the damage youve just done to yourself. Many of these are automatic and arise so quickly that we are hardly aware of them. CBT principles are also used by community psychiatric nurses and voluntary agencies to support people with phobias carrying out exposure work. Heres an example for someone with spider phobia: Situation: leafing through magazine, saw photo of large spider. Breathing into and out of your cupped hands has a similar effect. I wasnt able to breathe, I felt I was losing my breath.. Physical action This is particularly good for releasing anger.

Even the most primitive of human cultures have a spiritual aspect, and allow their priests or shamans to live without working the land or hunting.

Heres an example for someone who is trying to move on to 20 minutes of exercise once a week but whose chosen activity doesnt quite fit with that. If someone I knew had this thought, what would I say to them? Disadvantages of staying as I am I am isolated because of the time I sd checking. You would never guess it to see her up on the 'silver screen' though would you? If you are taking other prescription drugs check with your doctor about any side effects that might be causing you to feel anxious. All their tests are negative, but somehow they cant believe it. It doesnt help that concerned companions will often advise you to take a deep breath. Some time after I recovered I decided to move house, and it was quite a wrench to leave Pat behind. Ive done exposure work on my own and with support. Advantages of staying as I am I can be sure that I havent hurt anyone as long as I do my checking rituals. And your body was designed to be used - this means doing exercise that is appropriate for each individual. Many anxious people have an underlying fear of losing control, even for a moment (which explains why some people find it so difficult to accept the need for relaxation). Shakespeare, Hamlet Now you understand how Anxiety can change your thought processes, and how to start changing them back again. There are three ways that Anxiety helps this process: Prescription drugs People who become addicted to prescription drugs can experience Anxiety symptoms when they try to withdraw from them. I can see that my mother was very anxious and terrified of illness and I did develop a health anxiety. I have this approach that I dont think other people will be interested in my feelings so I keep quiet. Whatever your particular experience, you can be as sure as eggs are eggs, there will be difficulties at some point, so you might as well have an understanding of how to deal with them. It takes as long as it takes. Cook your favourite meal. Anxiety has a very limiting effect on a persons life - they may avoid going out, restrict their social contacts, sd many hours on rituals instead of enjoying life, and so on. However, how will loved ones cope with this change when theyve developed the habit of constantly giving in to your demands for reassurance?

As you can see, the counters are all positive statements.

All of them have travelled from mental anguish to a position where, at the very least, they feel optimistic about the future. If you choose a person-centred counsellor then you can be sure that you will stay in control of how far you go with this work. I cant work so my income is low. 8 is a comfort number for me so I used to check it 2 by 8 times, and I had to go through the count without blinking. If you become tired, take a rest. Working on your self-esteem can be a long and painful process but it is essential as part of learning to be okay with who you are. Really feel it. Its only embarrassment, and I can cope with that. What is your body to do? I can cope with being a fool if it helps me get better. ABOUT RELAXATION I do relaxation, I use a CD that the therapist gave me, it has a guided visualisation on it. Behaviour: you may avoid certain places or situations, or you may have to complete compulsive rituals Whole self: you may have poor self-esteem, fuelled by underlying beliefs about yourself. Stand, sit or lie comfortably. What is the worst thing that could hap? Hold a spider. However, if your problems go deeper into your relationship with them youll have to proceed more carefully - we suggest you take professional advice (see Relate in Apdix 2). If they need a lot of support from that person they may then start to feel guilty about it, or perhaps resentful that the person isnt doing enough to help. Patience: there is no miracle cure or magic wand for Anxiety, and in the early stages your progress may feel painfully slow. A Worriers typical thoughts start What if . Once you feel comfortable breathing like this, you can do it as often as you like.

Goals might include meeting friends, going to public places, doing voluntary work or doing a sport or social activity.

Many anxious people have an underlying fear of losing control, even for a moment (which explains why some people find it so difficult to accept the need for relaxation). Has this been true in the past? Id go mad, or something. Psychological support, either through self-help groups or from a professional therapist, can be helpful at this time to help you understand what is going on and also to learn new ways of coping without going back to the drugs. Visit supermarket at quiet time, with a helper and buy several items. And the system described has the advantage of clarity. If this is the case for you, we recommend that you look for professional help from a counsellor or psychotherapist. Why is that the worst thing, and why is it so bad? Learning to accept risk This exercise will help you to assess risk objectively. Put yourself in the picture behaving calmly and succeeding at the goal. A very few people go on to develop PTSD, where they continue to have strong reactions over a long period, usually feeling that they are re-living the trauma and unable to resume their normal lives. Sometimes people worry about how they are going to explain what they are feeling. Depression is not just a case of feeling low, or of needing to cheer yourself up. Take a break. Someone calls an ambulance, they are taken to Accident and Emergency, and after the usual tests they are told that its panic. Work your way through your list of thoughts and devise an answer to each one. Ask someone else to take over the fixture list. They can, and often do, happen while sleeping. People with OCD do often admit to their difficulties, because they need help with their OCD. my heart started to beat rapidly .